Easter is one of the times of year when we tend to spend time with family. But how do you cope when your family dynamic can make you doubt yourself and leave you feeling really low and unhappy.
What we think of ourselves and how we value our abilities is referred to as self-esteem. It’s often learnt during our childhood and therefore our family unit has a big impact on how we value and see ourselves.
If your family has been particularly critical of you, and unsupportive then you may find that you have low self-esteem. Those that suffer with low self-esteem are often people pleasers who struggle to say no, often compare themselves to others and feel inferior along with being very self-critical.
When we suffer from low self-esteem, it can be draining to spend time with family who make negative comments towards and about you. Spending time with them can make increase your anxieties about yourself and impact your overall happiness. You deserve to enjoy the Easter weekend, so if you do find yourself facing family events that are going to impact your self-esteem try these tips to help;
- Stay sober
Sometimes a few drinks can feel like they’re going to make dealing with family a little easier. But it’s temporary high will fade, and you’ll likely feel worse later on.
- Set boundaries
Give yourself boundaries like a time limit for how long you’ll be at family events and stick to them.
- Don’t engage in conversations you’re uncomfortable with
If there’s a certain subject matter that you know if going to trigger you, or questions you’re not comfortable with then excuse yourself and move away from the conversation.
- Plan something you enjoy Arrange some selfcare for after family events so you have something to look forward too, and that will make you feel happy and refilled. This is anything that brings you joy, it could be a warm bath, some time in the garden, watching TV or eating your favourite dinner. If it makes you happy , and fills your heart then it counts.
Longer term you might want to consider a personal development plan to help you unlearn the thoughts and beliefs that are impacting your self-esteem. This is a longer term plan that will help you build self-belief and improve how you see yourself. It’s a personal journey and you can create a plan that feels right to you. You could look to work on things like:
Giving yourself a break
Be kind and invest in yourself, practice regular self care. This can be anything that brings you joy and helps you feel refreshed and refuelled. You could try new hobbies and activities as part of your selfcare.
Celebrate your achievements If you have low self-esteem, you’re likely to hold on to negative experiences and thoughts rather than positive ones. To try and shift this mindset make time to celebrate your successes and achievements no matter how small. Learn to say no If you’re a people pleaser you’ll tend to put others first and often say ‘yes’ when we really want to say ‘no’. Finding and setting your boundaries can really boost your self-esteem. It might seem hard to make such a big change, but practice saying no to small things to start with, and it will come with practice.
Invest in yourself If you have low self-esteem you may not hold enough value in yourself to invest in your wellbeing and happiness. Therapy such as Hypnosis is a great way of making time for yourself and working on boosting your self-esteem. The automatic thoughts that can affect your self-esteem come from your subconscious; and are difficult to change on our own because we’re not consciously aware of them. Hypnotherapy works with your subconscious directly and uses positive suggestions to change your mindset. Instead of it telling you negative things about yourself it can be changed to tell you supportive encouraging thoughts.
If you would like to know more about how Hypnotherapy can help with self-esteem then please contact me for a no obligation call. We can talk through your experiences and decide together if hypnotherapy is the right choice for you.